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Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D is (or should be) a canonical book for vulva owners and anyone interested in pleasing a vulva. One of the things I mention a lot when I’m talking to people about sex positivity and romance is the dual control model of sexual response. It was first developed by Janssen and Boncroft at the Kinsey Institute in the late 1990’s. (Yes, that’s 1990’s, not 1890’s. What took so long?) Anyway … The dual control model of sexual response consists of two parts. The… read more

I often talk about Shameless Sex by Amy Baldwin and April Lampert (the book and the podcast). Dr. B and I attended a live event with these two lovely people. It was a small group talking all things sex positivity including toys. There are so many options out there. If you’ve tried a toy and didn’t like it, try something different. Vibrators or dildos (non-vibrating), toys for vulva owners and penis owners. Toys that are big or small, fun colors or muted. There are great sites online with tons of information and discreet shipping. Amy owns a sex toy shop… read more