Coming Together: Embracing your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility by Danielle Harel PhD and Celeste Hirschman MA

This book written by two sex coaches in California focuses on our fantasies and what they call our “core desires” to help unlock a more satisfying sex life. They suggest real techniques to identify what they call your “hottest sexual movie” and even walk you through the process for yourself.

What stuck out for me most was their belief that our fantasies can be part of our healing process from past hurts or trauma, whether or not those hurts were sexual. For example, someone who was neglected or ignored by their parents as a child, may have a sexual fantasy about being adored or worshipped. The childhood trauma around neglect wasn’t sexual at all, yet the history could explain some of the things that turn us on or healing from that hurt could include living out a particular romantic or sexual fantasy.

Yes please. The psych major and fiction writer in me was totally sucked in to that idea. So, of course, I walked through their process for myself. And I discovered a few new things which I’ll write about in a forthcoming article on Medium. After all, I’m not doing all this sex positivity research just for my books. I’m learning about myself too.

I found this book eye opening and easy to read. Grab a copy at your local bookshop or library. You may discover some new things about yourself. 😘