Resources

During my research and planning for a book, I often read non-fiction and other books for additional resources and information in order to write from a position of familiarity, if not knowledge. I’m not a doctor or any kind of expert, but I want to present an authentic representation of subjects when I can. Below are some of the resources I’ve used to inform my writing. Many were available at the library. Check ’em out!

Sex & Sexual Health

Some of these books lean toward heterosexual relationships as this is what I primarily write. I want to recognize that this content could be applied across the sex and sexuality spectrum.

  • Ansari, Aziz, and Eric Klinenberg, Modern Romance, Penguin Books, 2015.
  • Baldwin, Amy, and April Lampert, Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You’ve Been Waiting For, BenBella Books, 2023.
  • Dodson, Betty, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving, Harmony, 1996.
  • Easton, Dossie, and Janet W. Hardy, The New Bottoming Book, Greenery Press, 2011.
  • Easton, Dossie, and Janet W. Hardy, The New Topping Book, Greenery Press, 2011.
  • Harel, Danielle, and Celeste Hirschman, Coming Together: Embracing your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility, Somatica Press, 2019.
  • Kerner, Ian, Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man, William Morrow Paperbacks, 2008.
  • Kerner, Ian, She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, Harper Collins Publishers, 2004.
  • Kerner, Ian, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, Grand Central Publishing, 2021.
  • Kerner, Ian, and Heidi Raykeil, Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents’ Guide to Getting It On Again, William Morrow, 2009.
  • Kimmel, Michael, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, Harper Perennial, 2018.
  • Lehmiller, Justin J., Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, De Capo Lifelong Books, 2018.
  • Marin, Vanessa, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, S&S/Simon Element, 2023.
  • Mintz, Laurie, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters – And How to Get It, HarperOne, 2018.
  • Moon, Allison, Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex, Ten Speed Press, 2020.
  • Morin, Jack, The Erotic Mind, Harper Collins, 2012.
  • Nagoski, Emily, Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, Simon & Schuster; Updated edition, 2021.
  • Orenstein, Peggy, Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity, Harper, 2020.
  • Orenstein, Peggy, Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape, Harper Paperbacks, 2017.
  • Paget, Lou, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, Broadway Books, 2000.
  • Plank, Liz, For the Love of Men: From Toxic to a More Mindful Masculinity, St. Martin’s Press, 2019.
  • Roberts, Matthais, Beyond Shame: Creating A Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms, Fortress Press, 2020.
  • Rowland, Katherine, The Pleasure Gap: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution, Seal Press, 2020.
  • Winks, Cathy, and Anne Semans, Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written, Cleis Press, 2002.
  • Wise, Nan, Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life, Harvest, 2020.
ONLINE REOURCES
  • Babeland – A leading online retailer of top-quality sex toys and supplies like lube along with no-nonsense inclusive sex ed for over 30 years. It was founded by women and is headquartered in Seattle, where you can visit their shop in person (they also have shops in Brooklyn and Manhattan).
  • Sex With Emily – Dr. Emily Morse’s treasure trove of information and product suggestions. If you’ve got a question, it’s been talked about here.
  • Shameless Sex – Amy and April talk about it all and share from their own life experience. They are super sex positive and BONUS they reference a ton of people whose books I’ve listed above.
  • Girls Get Off – Newer site out of Australia. US/UK content is still being unlocked. Our Australia and NZ friends already have access to some great stuff. I also like their Facebook Group for some real talk from real people – Girls Get Off Uncensored.
  • OMGYes – provides in-depth guides to pleasuring women and vulva-owners. It requires a membership (one-time payment/no subscription), but it is well worth the money, and they frequently offer discounts.
Sex Later in Life
  • Blank, Joani (Editor), Still Doing It: Women & Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality, Down There Press, 2000.
    • Enlightening with contributor stories from many diverse backgrounds and experiences, all over the age of 60.
  • Price, Joan, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, Seal Press, 2005.
    • Warm, witty, and honest book about the challenges and delights of older-life sexuality. Input from interviews and real-life accounts.
SURVIVING SexUAL SHAME

I read many other books about this topic but found these to be the most relevant for my writing.

  • Clark, Kristen, and Bethany Beal, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart, Baker Books, 2019.
  • Gregoire, Sheila Wray, Lindenbach, R. G., Sawatsky, J. The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended, Baker Books, 2021.
  • Klien, Linda Kay, Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, Atria books, 2018.
  • Valenti, Jessica, The Purity Myth, Seal Press, 2009.
  • van der Kolk, Bessel, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Penguin Books, 2014.
  • Anything by Brené Brown on shame is worth the time.
Women’s Health
  • McGregor, Alyson J., Sex Matters: How male-centric medicine endangers women’s health and what we can do about it, Quercus, 2020.
    • Informative and well worth a read empowering woman to take better control of their health.
SEX POSITIVE READS