I often talk about Shameless Sex by Amy Baldwin and April Lampert (the book and the podcast). Dr. B and I attended a live event with these two lovely people. It was a small group talking all things sex positivity including toys. There are so many options out there. If you’ve tried a toy and didn’t like it, try something different. Vibrators or dildos (non-vibrating), toys for vulva owners and penis owners. Toys that are big or small, fun colors or muted. There are great sites online with tons of information and discreet shipping.

Amy owns a sex toy shop with her mom called Pure Pleasure Shop and you can bet their products are highly tested and great quality. And don’t skip the lube. Drug store lube is fine, but there are much better options out there and available online. One that comes highly rated is the water-based lube at Bellesa Boutique. So, before you give up on lube as being too messy, try some of the recommended options at a reputable sex toy retailer first. You won’t be disappointed. Many recent romance novels, including mine, are working hard to normalize the use of sex toys as a healthy part of solo and partnered sex. Many studies show that up to 70% of vulva owners can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Clitoral stimulation is key and sex toys make it easier than ever. It’s not dirty. It’s awesome. Don’t be shy. Give it a try!