Sex positivity

Yes, I believe reading romance novels can improve your sex life. But smart people don’t read romance. Orthose books are unrealistic or porn or fill-in-the-blank with whatever negative idea you’ve heard about the genre. Then keep reading because I have a point. Note: according to the Oxford Classic Dictionary, many scholars would argue that representing sexual activity, or obscenity in images or writing, does not necessarily make it pornography. Rather, it is defined as “material which presents people—particularly women—as mute, available, and subordinate sexual objects, often shown in a context of violence.” Romance is not porn. For years, some have… read more

As a steamy romance writer, I spend quite a bit of time thinking about pleasure. What would this character want to do in bed and what would feel good to them? It’s a gift to be able to spend so much time thinking about pleasure, because I doubt enough of us do. Western culture “has a problem with pleasure in general,” says Dr. Emily Morse in her book “Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Own Pleasure”.  And not just sexual pleasure. We feel guilty eating that piece of decadent chocolate. We would never get a… read more

I love romance. But romance isn’t perfect, and one of my teeny-tiny pet peeves is all the big … well … dicks. A point I touch on with the hero, Levi, in Hawaii for Two. (So, this idea has been on my mind lately.) Some data … A 2020 review of research reported the average size of an erect penis is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches in length and most men, (up to 95%) fall within this range. Another study by J. Lever et al. (2006) at CSU Los Angeles reported most women (85%) are satisfied with the size of… read more

There are a lot of different ways folks can feel shame about sex. Growing up in a culture where sex or sexual pleasure is considered wrong. Living in a culture where only certain body types and features are considered beautiful and sexy. Experiencing sexual trauma. Or something else. There are many ways sex can be surrounded by shame. Sex therapists are finding most people raised with shame around sex struggle to have healthy sex lives as partnered/married adults. I believe it’s time to boot shame from the bedroom, and I believe reading romance can help. Here’s how: The Shameless Sex… read more

I talk incessantly about reading romance and its impact on our sex lives. The romance genre has evolved to be much more diverse and authentic in recent years, and the novels and tropes we are drawn to can tell us so much about ourselves. Sex education is failing us. Currently there are 12 states in the Union (24%) which do not require sex education to be: age-appropriate, medically accurate, culturally responsive, or evidence-based/evidence-informed. In the fall of 2023, Forbes did a survey of 1,500 Americans ages 18 to 44. Here are a few of their findings. 90% of respondents said… read more