I love romance. But romance isn’t perfect, and one of my teeny-tiny pet peeves is all the big … well … dicks. A point I touch on with the hero, Levi, in Hawaii for Two. (So, this idea has been on my mind lately.)

Some data …

A 2020 review of research reported the average size of an erect penis is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches in length and most men, (up to 95%) fall within this range. Another study by J. Lever et al. (2006) at CSU Los Angeles reported most women (85%) are satisfied with the size of their partner’s penis.

These two data points together indicate that in general, men with an average sized penis are satisfying their partners. Further, add to this that most women (approx. 60-70%) can’t orgasm from penetration alone, and we could reasonably conclude that a big penis is not always a big deal. So, why is it such a big deal in romance?

Some food for thought …

Maybe the fantasy is about the big-dick owning, super-manly protector or strong man falling at the nerdy heroine’s feet. Swoon. I love that one. Or maybe the fantasy is that it doesn’t hurt. Because often times, the big ones do hurt.

Fantasy is part of romance and it’s great. No shade. But could these ideas in particular contribute to body shaming penis-owners? Playing into a cultural expectation of appearance that is unattainable by most (95%)? I know a lot of us can relate. The heroine, Kate, in Hawaii for Two struggles with body image.

Unattainable cultural expectations around female bodies are ubiquitous, at least in western culture, and romance has worked hard to honor and adore all types of female bodies in response. It may be difficult to imagine men having the same pressures, but I think they do. Let’s honor and adore all types of male bodies too.

Keep reading romance and get your motor started fantasizing about all those big-dick equipped heroes. But when it comes to your average-sized-dick equipped partner, make sure they know their reality is better than a fantasy. 😉It might just change the world.