The Braver Blog

  • Sex & Menopause

    I recently spoke at a wellness retreat where there were several questions about menopause and sex. It was on folks’ minds. Sex later in life is never far from my mind. Afterall, I’m in my mid-fifties and I’m married to a lovely man. Spoiler alert: Sex happens. 😉 It’s been an area of focus as I do my book research too. And there is plenty to discover. Hormone changes can wreak havoc on emotions and women’s bodies. I myself experienced night sweats, but also unusual sleep loss and extreme anxiety, even to the point of suicidal ideation, as I approached… read more

  • It’s a shame about sexual shame.

    There are a lot of different ways folks can feel shame about sex. Growing up in a culture where sex or sexual pleasure is considered wrong. Living in a culture where only certain body types and features are considered beautiful and sexy. Experiencing sexual trauma. Or something else. There are many ways sex can be surrounded by shame. Sex therapists are finding most people raised with shame around sex struggle to have healthy sex lives as partnered/married adults. I believe it’s time to boot shame from the bedroom, and I believe reading romance can help. Here’s how: The Shameless Sex… read more

  • Sex Ed for Grownups

    I talk incessantly about reading romance and its impact on our sex lives. The romance genre has evolved to be much more diverse and authentic in recent years, and the novels and tropes we are drawn to can tell us so much about ourselves. Sex education is failing us. Currently there are 12 states in the Union (24%) which do not require sex education to be: age-appropriate, medically accurate, culturally responsive, or evidence-based/evidence-informed. In the fall of 2023, Forbes did a survey of 1,500 Americans ages 18 to 44. Here are a few of their findings. 90% of respondents said… read more

  • Coming Together

    Coming Together: Embracing your Core Desires for Sexual Fulfillment and Long-Term Compatibility by Danielle Harel PhD and Celeste Hirschman MA This book written by two sex coaches in California focuses on our fantasies and what they call our “core desires” to help unlock a more satisfying sex life. They suggest real techniques to identify what they call your “hottest sexual movie” and even walk you through the process for yourself. What stuck out for me most was their belief that our fantasies can be part of our healing process from past hurts or trauma, whether or not those hurts were… read more

  • The Pleasure Gap

    The Pleasure Gap: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution by Katherine Rowland I’m currently reading The Pleasure Gap and loving it. So much so, that the first part of the book inspired my Medium article “Why You Should Stop Faking It.” We hear a lot about the orgasm gap. Studies have reported men have nearly 2x the number of orgasms as women. There are lots of reasons for this gap, but what about pleasure with or without orgasm? At my book signings, I talk to women who tell me “I’m done with romance” or “that part of my life… read more