I know, it’s a strange theme to tackle in a romance novel. Romance novels have leaned into the fantasy of perfection for decades. No shade. I love it. I love to slip into the skin of someone who doesn’t have unwanted belly fat, is twenty years younger but is still as confident, and garners all the attention of the equally masculine and sensitive male main character. No notes.

But too much perfection in our everyday lives can have us comparing and coming up short.

The idea that perfection isn’t ideal is the theme of Your Heart, Book 3 in my Perry Harbor Series. [I recently updated the cover and published a slightly revised version to tighten up the language … not because I’m pursuing perfection in my writing. (author pauses to be sure)]

Tess is physically beautiful; on every scale she is a 10. But it doesn’t make her life easy … at all. Those of us non-10s out there see “pretty privilege” and think beautiful people have it easy. But that may not be the case. No one lives a charmed life, though social media may have us believing otherwise. We all harbor secret doubts and insecurities – no matter what we look like.

Tess is “not a card-carrying introvert but not an extrovert either.” For her, the attention her face garners feels like pressure, and people judge her before knowing her. Real love has evaded her for so long, she believes she will never have it because of the way she looks.

You guessed it; Tess is a foil to Jo from Your Sweetness (Book 2). Both women believe they’ll never find real love because of the way they look. They just come at it from different wounds.

Yes, physical attraction is important in an intimate relationship, but if we consider studies from long-time lovers, it’s not the most important. Long-coupled lovers report having satisfying sex lives not because their friends think their partners are “hot” or they’ve managed to stay looking the same as they did when they were younger. But because they are able to connect, be vulnerable, and trust.

Partners feel safe to explore desires, fantasies, and joy.  To have fun. To be authentic when we often don’t feel safe enough to be authentic anywhere else. (Gotta put on a good show – Be strong. Be smart. Be successful. Be flawless.)

Sex should be where we are able to be our most authentic, possibly flawed, and dare I say … happy, selves. That is the unique gift we give to our partners. 

What assumptions about perfection have been holding you back from happiness? In relationships? In the bedroom? What comparisons to others are keeping you from being your most authentic self?

Drew and Tess are thrown together on a secluded island where all that matters is who they are, not how they look. And they show up in the bedroom as their most authentic selves because of it. But to make it as a couple in the “real world” they have to learn that it is love and loving, not our faces, that make us beautiful to our partners, and to ourselves. 

Beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder.