The Braver Blog

  • Dirty Talk – How to…

    Once during a workshop at a wellness seminar, one participant (a man) asked me if women really liked dirty talk. I responded that I couldn’t speak for all women, but given dirty talk is a common element in many romance novels, primarily read by women, one could conclude women do at least think about it. All dirty talk is not the same. I’ll let you, beautiful reader, determine the specifics around “dirty”, and I’ll just touch on the talking part. According to the website OMGYes.com, “research shows that women who gave specific details about what makes sex more pleasurable for… read more

  • What’s with all the big … eggplants?

    I love romance. But romance isn’t perfect, and one of my teeny-tiny pet peeves is all the big … well … dicks. A point I touch on with the hero, Levi, in Hawaii for Two. (So, this idea has been on my mind lately.) Some data … A 2020 review of research reported the average size of an erect penis is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches in length and most men, (up to 95%) fall within this range. Another study by J. Lever et al. (2006) at CSU Los Angeles reported most women (85%) are satisfied with the size of… read more

  • Sex & … Golf?

    I am not a golfer, nor is my husband. In fact, due to some family stuff, golf is a bit of a trigger for me. So, when I read that a statistically significant number of men in a study about who’s having “magnificent sex” (conducted by Peggy Kleinplatz et al.) reported a golf book was one of the top resources that helped their sex life, I had to read it. And let me tell you, I can totally see why. The book The Inner Game of Golf by W. Timothy Gallwey has been around for a long time, is a… read more

  • Sex & Menopause

    I recently spoke at a wellness retreat where there were several questions about menopause and sex. It was on folks’ minds. Sex later in life is never far from my mind. Afterall, I’m in my mid-fifties and I’m married to a lovely man. Spoiler alert: Sex happens. 😉 It’s been an area of focus as I do my book research too. And there is plenty to discover. Hormone changes can wreak havoc on emotions and women’s bodies. I myself experienced night sweats, but also unusual sleep loss and extreme anxiety, even to the point of suicidal ideation, as I approached… read more

  • It’s a shame about sexual shame.

    There are a lot of different ways folks can feel shame about sex. Growing up in a culture where sex or sexual pleasure is considered wrong. Living in a culture where only certain body types and features are considered beautiful and sexy. Experiencing sexual trauma. Or something else. There are many ways sex can be surrounded by shame. Sex therapists are finding most people raised with shame around sex struggle to have healthy sex lives as partnered/married adults. I believe it’s time to boot shame from the bedroom, and I believe reading romance can help. Here’s how: The Shameless Sex… read more